Arrival and Going Home Times

Arrival Time and Going Home Time don't seem to be important to adults. However, they are vital to children.

At arrival time it is important that I have time to greet every individual child and make them feel welcome asking them how the previous evening went, how they slept, what they dreamt, whether they've had breakfast, etc.

Moreover, the parents have time to tell me anything unusual that happened or anything I should know about like the child's having got sick the previous evening, any rashes, sleep abnormalities, bowel problems, lack of appetite, lost dolls, fun films they watched, grandparents that came for a visit, i.e. anything that is important to either the parent, or the child.

This is the opportunity to link between both the child(ren)'s lives. Unfortunately, we too often forget that children have at least two completely separate existences. One as a minded child in the childminders home and one at the parents' home. In some cases this means three or more homes since they might spend equal amounts of time at either parent's home or at grandparents' homes.

Nevertheless, we expect the children not to be 'troublesome' at transition times from one home to the other. They won't see mammy or daddy for the rest of the day and it is hard on the children and the parents to part. Children are such good readers of emotions. They will be the first to know when their parent is distraught and react accordingly.

Besides, we forget how hard it is not to be in control of ones' life. They are moved around from one place and one social setting to another and for the most part, they have no say in it. This would frustrate the best of adults, never mind a small child who has not yet learnt to recognise, much less cope with, his/her emotions.

Going home time is equally important. I usually do a winding down activity about half an hour before children are collected. It is not fair on either parent or child if the child is all wound up from a fun activity and has to go home in the middle of it flying high as a kite. At going home time the children should be in a reasonably relaxed state. This can sometimes be difficult to manage when children are collected at different times. However, I try my best to settle them down before going home.

Same as arrival time, going home time is about a transition between social settings and about exchanging information. I will relate anything unusual that happened during the day to the parents. Moreover, I will tell them a few things we did during the day to involve them in their child's day-life. Some parents also need time to tell about their days. It is always helpful when they tell the children what will happen next, as in', We are going to visit nanny/go shopping/go home now.' We need to keep in mind that the parent has had a stressful day but also the child is full of stories and needs to be heard.  

Yes, this is a NEED, and a very powerful one as such. If it is not fulfilled, tensions will soon build up and children will get very frustrated and develop negative feelings about going home time. I try to avoid this under any circumstances. My service is a child-centred one and this means that the child's interest is paramount.